Tuesday, August 10, 2010

tuesday's true confession: my similarity to Lady Gaga

P-p-p-poker face, p-p-poker face!  P-p-p-poker face, p-p-poker face!  
Today I'm confessing that I'm a pretty private person.  This shows up in my life in three ways:

1)  I tend to keep everything from my feelings to my deepest thoughts to myself unless I know someone REALLY well.  I've got this crazy-good poker face. (Hence, the reference to Lady Gaga.  Actually, this is probably the extent of my similarity to her.  And I'm pretty sure based on the rest of the lyrics of that song that we aren't using our poker faces for the same purpose.)  People can tell me THE MOST SHOCKING NEWS EVER right to my face, and I can pretty much act like I've heard it ten times before . . . and in my line of work, I've heard some pretty shocking things.  People only know what I'm feeling or thinking if I want them to know what I'm feeling and thinking. 

2)  I'm an expert at using the word "interesting" to mean everything from,
  • "That could be the stupidest thing I've ever heard."
  • "I need to think about that for a little while before I have an opinion."
  • "I'm genuinely interested in that.  Tell me more." 
(If you are someone who has actual face-to-face conversations with me, let's just assume I'm always using "interesting" in reference to that last reason when I'm talking with you.)

3)  I try to get to know other people, but I rarely let other people get to know me really well.
I'm not sure why I'm like this.  I'm not sure if I've always been like this?  I'm not sure if I'll ever stop being like this.  I've used some of these tuesday's true confessions to be a little less private . . . at least with people in blogland, some of who I also know in "real" life (whatever that is).  

I'm confessing this today because it was a tough day and an incredible day all in one, and I thought I'd take another step in self-disclosure.  

After more than a year of doctor's visits and mystery symptoms, my oldest was diagnosed with kidney and bladder malformations at the age of 3 when she had her first surgery.  I've spent the last two years scheduling her bathroom habits, fluid intake, medications, renal function tests, etc.  Today was the second surgery . . . a surgery that we were told she would have to have every two years until about the age of 16 or so.  Ugh!

I've had my very best poker face on the past two years in response to this in spite of what I feel inside.  I had my very best poker face on last night as I was explaining to her what would be happening again today.  I had my very best poker face on as I held her in the surgical room while they were putting her to sleep.  (It's sooooo cool that they let a parent go into the surgery room now until the child is asleep.  That wasn't the case two years ago, and it was wonderful to be with her.)  I had my very best poker face on as the surgeon called us back to the consultation room to tell us how the surgery went.  

And as I listened to her report, my poker face was replaced by the largest, brightest, most amazing smile I've had in a long time.  In two short years, something rare happened . . . something she doesn't see happen very often, she's healed . . . for the most part . . . we think.  We're going to be cautiously optimistic over the next few weeks as we start to take her off her medication.  But for the time being, no more renal function tests, ultrasounds and surgeries.  

So for today . . . good bye poker face and hello super happy face!  I'm letting the whole world know that I'm happy.

How about you?  Do you have a great poker face or a face that every feeling and thought is written on?  Are you someone who guards your heart or who wears your heart on your sleeve?

Confess on!

**I'm not doing the linky because it takes so much time to set up.  I don't have that kind of time today, but I would love to hear what you have to say in the comments or you can post a link in your comment to your blog if you have your own confession post you want to share. 


Larri @ Seams Inspired said...

Oh, wow! I'm filled with great joy about your wonderful news! :o) Are we related? Because I wear my poker face almost all the time too. I confessed about my gray hair today. You can take a look when you have time. Happy, Happy Tuesday! Get some rest tonight. :o)


Chris said...

I'm so thrilled for you and your family. What wonderful news. Best wishes for a speedy recovery and better than ever. Miracles are real.

Natalie said...

So, so, SO happy to hear this!! Congrats to you guys...and to her! I love your super happy face :)

Annette W. said...

God bless!!! Tears came to my eyes.

Honestly, I wish I could have a poker face. It would do me good too often!

Melissa said...

God is good, isn't He!! Yeah for your whole family!!

The Answer Is Chocolate said...

First, yay on the good news! Now, when I saw the headline in my reader I was trying to imagine what similarities you had to Lady GaGa...was really curious about that lol!

I think all moms have a poker face to some extent but I have always had a serious face. From infancy, I was not a big grinner and was called Spock as a child because no one ever knew my emotions. I am still like that except with those really close to me. Blogging has actually helped me become more social.

Jocelyn Christensen said...

That is the most awesome news! Yay!

I am one who purposefully wears her heart on her sleeve. I'm too true not to. I'm a horrible liar. Plus, I actually want people to know what I am thinking in real time...saves me having to bring people up to date later as to how what they said affected me. Know what I mean!~?

Anyway, this is wonderful news! thanks for sharing!

Sandy said...

Wow! That sounds like wonderful news! I'll keep my fingers crossed and my prayers said for your family. =)

WW said...

I don't like other people's children, at least not people I don't know. Which is pretty bad, because I work in a toy store and at a library. I don't like the fact that the people that come into the store, don't care what their children do and then they get mad at me when I ask them not to sit on certain things, or when I tell them that certain things aren't for sale. And I can't stand hearing children having temper tantrums

Bethany @ The Paper Pony said...

Yay! I am so happy for your family! How miraculous! My confession this week is that I totally and VERY accidentally flashed my underwear to all the 16 and 17 year old girls at church. As in skirt down to my ankles flashed. It was an object lesson - I was doing distracting things like taking off over-clothes and jewelry and nail polish while mumbling and not making eye contact. Then I was going to say something like "Most of you won't remember what I said, but you'll remember what I did." You know, the whole actions speak louder than words thing. Boy, did I hit that point home, or what? It was my first Sunday teaching them and I wanted to make a big impression only THAT really wasn't the impression I was planning on. Ha ha ha!

rebecca said...

OMG Elizabeth, what amazing news!!! So happy for you guys, praying things continue to go smoothly for her as she goes off her medications & that no more surgeries await her in the future!

Beverly @ FlamingoToes.com said...

Oh Elizabeth! What a blessing for your family. I'm so thrilled for all of you.
My daughter has some health issues as well and I have that poker face for her too - and it's hard. And tiring.
But thanks so much for sharing part of yourself - it's fun to be able to rejoice with you!!

Kristin said...

Wonderful news Elizabeth! Praise to God for healing her! I can only imagine the smile on your face! :)

Megan said...

I'm so happy about your news!

I'm probably completely opposite of you. My problem is that I show too many emotions and have trouble keeping cool in bad/sad situations. I'm working on it, because of my daughter and I want to keep a strong, positive face for her when she's hurt or sad.

Emily said...

God is so good! What wonderful news for your family and your precious girl!

Maria@BubblegumandDuctTape said...

That's great news! thank you for sharing this with us. What I found in blogland is that everyone is so supportive and kind with their comments that you start to feel so much better after reading them.

I'm really happy for her that she wont be subjected to any more tests. Thank God she's okay now and you don't feel so stressed anymore.

Lu said...

I am so happy that you got to wear your super happy face! I am definitely a poker face. I just don't react to much, although I do practice getting excited or being shocked so that when I do actually convey those emotions, they don't seem forced. It's not going very well, unfortunately for my husband who loves to try to surprise me.

Kenzie said...

That is amazing news! I will be thinking and praying for you that everything goes well! And I have no poker face what so ever! I am like a book, you can read everything that I am thinking! I need to practice a poker face! Congratulations! Hugs!!

Crystal said...

That is such exciting news! I'm so happy for you and your family.

Fawnda@Fireflies and Jellybeans said...

What great news about your daughter! I have tears of joy... unlike you, I wear my emotions on my sleeve for all to see! I wish I had a poker face! :)

My prayers will be with you and your family as your daughter recovers from this surgery.

cate said...

wow! great news!

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