Monday, August 2, 2010

tuesday's true confession: one of these things is not like the other

Have you ever felt like you don't belong?  You know, kind of like that song I used to sing along with the characters of Sesame Street when I was five, "One of these things is not like the others.  One of these thing just doesn't belong."  I feel like that today.  ;)

(Here's space for you to ask, "Why?") 

Well, thanks for asking.  I have projects in a couple of challenges right now, and my projects aren't quite measuring up.  They just don't quite belong in the sea of super creative projects.  Here's the thing I'm confessing today . . . I'm super competitive . . . BUT I'm not competitive against other people.  I know that's odd, right?  Typically, competition rears its ugly head against another person.  But I'm super competitive against myself, and I always have been.  This frustrating trait reveals itself in a variety of circumstances.  

Here's a few examples:
  • When I was in school, if I got 95% on a test or a paper, I HAD to get at least 96% on the next one.
  • If I run four miles one day, I have to run four and a quarter miles the next.
  • When I was taking a class last fall in another town, I was always trying to shave a few seconds or minutes off my drive time from the day before.
  • If I make make what I think is a super creative project one day, the next one has to be even more creative. 
This little trait is good at times because I'm always pushing myself.

But more often than not, it's debilitating and ridiculous because I can't always improve.  I mean, eventually I got 100% on paper and tests.  But I couldn't get better than that, and I certainly couldn't maintain that forever.  I can't always run more than the day before because time and my knees won't allow it.  I can't always drive faster . . . at least if I want to keep my licence and stay alive.  And reality tells me that some projects are super creative and some projects just are.  Each project cannot be better than the next. 

At some point I have to give myself a break.  At some point, I have to be okay with less . . . even much less than 100%, running less than the day before, driving slower and safer, making something that's just okay.

I started this crafting thing to give myself a break from competition against myself and my tendency toward perfectionism.  But somehow I let it creep slowly into what was supposed to be a therapeutic hobby.  

So today, I'm okay with mediocre.  I'm okay that my projects in these wonderful challenges just aren't as good as I want them to be and aren't as good as other project that I've done.  In fact, I embrace it!!  And to embrace my mediocrity, I encourage you to hop over to the voting pages for Iron Crafter and The Trendy Treehouse not to vote for mine, but to vote for one of the super creative projects linked up.  I'm loving so many of them.  And I do have a few that I'm rooting for, but I'll keep them to myself because I don't want to influence your voting . . . not that I actually have the power to influence your voting. ;)
Last week Cate confessed her own love of crazy music.  I'm so relieved to know that someone else knows the lyrics to Vanilla Ice's music!   

So the link up below is for you to add your own confession.  Confess whatever you want (silly, serious, sappy) or not . . . just try not to make it too sultry . . . if you know what I mean.  ;) 

If you don't have your own blog or don't want to take the time to write up a post, just comment below with your true confession.  Maybe you don't want to, that's fine.  If no one links, that's okay too.  We are all busy, and we certainly don't need another thing on the to-do list. 

If you do participate in Tuesday's True Confession, don't feel obligated to link back or post the button.  You can if you want to, but I don't demand it.  ;)


Beverly {Flamingo Toes} said...

Well two things. . .
One - I am exactly the same way. I feel very competitive - with myself. ;) I love contests and challenges - not so much to compete against others, but to just compete. So I know exactly how you feel.
But as to the other? I think we're our own worst critic. Your projects ARE just as good as everyone elses - They're great!
Thanks for the confession though - I love these posts of yours.
I'm now ending the longest comment in the history of comments. ;)

Cate said...

i was kind of confused when i saw my name in your post because i didn't confess to knowing the words to vanilla ice. then i realized that there are other people out there that spell their name the same way i do. my confession i guess is that i sometimes think i am the only person named cate in the world. haha! it is just weird to see it spelled "right" when it is someone else's name.

-Cate from Random Crafty Georgia Girl

Natalie said...

I can totally relate. I am only competitive with myself, not others. But a weird confession? I don't really ever "fit in" with other people. I'm more of an introvert. I do have friends, but honestly? On any given day, I'd rather be by myself than with others. But don't tell anybody that, okay?!

Sarah said...

Hey! I have an award for you on my blog!

Debra Hawkins said...

I honestly feel this way all the time. I am pretty sure that I am not creative enough for any of these contests. I think you are SUPER creative. In fact, I have found myself saying that I wish I was as creative as you before!

Melissa said...

It is interesting - in some areas of my life, I am self-motivate that way in other areas I am not.

I can, however, definitely empathize with what you are saying.

Melissa said...

I haven't the foggiest idea how I got linked to your party but it doesn't need to be there because it doesn't fit, please, please delete it!!

WW said...

I read too many blogs. That normally wouldn't be that bad, if I just read them on the blog pages, but I'm weird. I copy and paste them on Word documents and see how much I can shrink the total amount of pages by going through and deleting pictures and words as I read them.
I also have a tendency to underline in my magazines. I think it's from when I was in college, and I found it kind of hard to stare at so many words and follow along.
Honestly, I don't know where it comes from, but I have been weaning myself off of it, by checking out books from the library and reading them.

Rachel said...

After reading your post I thought I could have written this! I'm constantly pushing myself. It is ridiculous and a constant source of anxiety for me. This was happening with my blog, so I had to take a short break and not posting until I've gotten the problem under control. This is my only way of putting a stop to it :)

Jane said...

Hi, I have no idea if I've edited my profile correctly, but I confessed on my blog - it was very cathartic! Thanks for the invite to 'fess up! I run two businesses with two corresponding blogs so check out Jane

Bethany @ The Paper Pony said...

Well, the truth is, I LOVE playing with Fisher Price Little People and find that if my children start messing up something I set up, I get a bit miffed. Toys are just so fun and awesome these days! I don't know what it is about the Little People things I love so much, but I really do. I have had to catch myself several times so I wouldn't actually get angry. The twins aren't even 2 yet after all. I think I need a time out from their fun toys!

Amanda said...

I gave you an award on my blog!


Kim 'The Hillbilly' said...

Amen sister! I'm super competitive with myself and others... and let's not even go there when my husband watches the Hawkeyes and I root for ISU... UGH!

Related Posts with Thumbnails