Today I don't feel like being funny, sarcastic or overly dramatic about ants. I don't feel like confessing something trite and insignificant. If that's the kind of true confession you are looking for today, come back next Tuesday. I'll have one of those confessions for you then. But today's confession isn't going to make you laugh, chuckle or even smile because today all I have to confess is that I feel like being sad . . . not the kind of sad where you are a little "blue" and don't feel like smiling at someone when you pass them on the street; rather, I feel like being the kind of sad where you sit in a dark room and cry all day until there are no more tears to cry and all you feel is numb. I can't do that, of course. All I can do is confess in my blog - a blog that is usually reserved for happy, joyful, creative and sometimes funny moments in my life - that all I want to "do" today is be sad, cry and hurt.
Two friends - two amazing people - who struggled for too long to conceive finally did after trying almost everything. Almost six months ago they heard the doctor say, "You're pregnant!" And it was the best news they could ever imagine hearing. Six months of check ups and ultrasounds and good reports led them to believe that they would be bringing home their precious baby girl in a little more than three months. This week that precious baby girl was born into the world too early to survive more than a few minutes in her loving mother's arms. And all they want to do is cry. And that's all I want to do today too. I can't, but I needed someone to know - or a group of someones to know that that's what I want to do and that's exactly what I'm doing on the inside.
So, if you are someone who prays, pray for two people whose hearts are aching for the beautiful daughter that they don't get to put in the car seat that was delivered a few weeks ago or dress in the clothes that have been carefully placed in the closet. Pray for a mom and a dad who love their little girl more than words can say. Just pray.
**The following song was meaningful to two other friends who said good-bye to their infant daughter last summer. I thought of it again this week when I heard of this loss, and I'm sharing it because there might be someone in your life to whom the words of this song might speak to in the midst of their own loss or sadness.